I Hate When That Happens!

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The other day I was on my way to a therapy appointment when I came to a huge traffic jam blocking my route. Traffic going the opposite direction was flowing smoothly, but on my side it was pretty much a parking lot. It became abundantly clear in fairly short order that I would be late for my appointment if I didn’t do something drastic.

This was an important appointment for me, because McT and I had scheduled a two hour time slot. I’d never had a two hour therapy appointment before, so I was really looking forward to this session.

I managed to stay calm for a while, until I realized for sure that I was going to be late. I called McT and left a message with that information, and told him that I was very frustrated about the fact that I wasn’t going to get my whole two hour session. In fact, I wasn’t just frustrated, I was yelling-out-loud pissed, and my anger was mostly at God.

I hate it when I feel angry at God. When I get angry at God it never feels right or justified, but sometimes circumstances get all messed up, and everything goes contrary to my plans.

I know the saying that says, If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans.

But I’m just not mature enough yet to be able to not get angry when something happens, especially if a lot of somethings happen, to mess up my plans. It always feels like God made it happen that way on purpose. I know that probably sounds ridiculous, but it’s the way I feel.

About sarahjesusnlily

My name is Sarah Abigail Kuriakos. I come from a background of extreme child abuse, and it almost destroyed my life. Fortunately God had other plans. My mother tried to kill me while I was an infant, my father threatened to kill me if I told anyone what he was doing to me, and I tried suicide nine times as an adult. Thankfully none of the attempts on my life succeeded. The purpose of this blog is to chronicle the progress I'm making as God heals me from my childhood, while making sure that God is glorified in the process. I'm a voracious reader, and I enjoy crocheting, counted cross stitch, creating art, playing with my cat, Lily, listening to Christian music, and watching movies. My favorite books are, first and foremost, The Holy Bible, then Jane Eyre, David Copperfield, The Count of Monte Cristo, and To Kill a Mockingbird. I also love Christian apologetics. The most important thing in my life is knowing and serving Jesus Christ, and telling people about His great love for them. People need to know that God loves them!

2 responses »

  1. You know Sarah, I have over the years come to the conclusion the enemy uses things like this to cause anxiety, and anger and I always picture him getting the giggles when it works. I can tell when it seems the more out of wack I am, the more this seems true. But this knowledge has allowed me to step back and ‘say not today sucker!’ and allow the the holy Spirit to wash over me and sit in love with me. A lot of times these things which change are wished for plans can become a bigger blessing. This is my prayer and wish for you.

    Kimberly Anunson kim@serbyte.com 206.686.7889

    ________________________________

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  2. Thanks for your encouragement, Kim. The thought occurred to me that, rather than it being God who had messed things up, it could have been the devil, but I keep coming back to the fact that, even if it was the devil, God still allowed it to happen. And while I don’t want to question the sovereignty of God, there is so much I just don’t understand about that very subject: God’s sovereignty.

    I’m grateful for your prayers. Fortunately, I got all but twenty minutes of my two hour appointment, plus McT promised there would be others in the future, so it ended up all right.

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