Category Archives: Don’t Worry

Apr3

Writer’s Block Notwithstanding…

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I’ve been struggling with what to write about lately ~ a LOT. I started working on a post about beauty, and I wanted to include some photos of birds, but I couldn’t figure out how to format them the way I wanted them to look. I finally got so frustrated that I had to walk away or I was going have a panic attack and throw my computer, which would have been a really bad thing to do.

Since the not-throwing-my-computer day, which was a long time ago, I keep getting ideas of topics to write about, but because I haven’t finished the post about beauty, I can’t really move on to any other subjects. So here I am, blathering on about wanting to write about beauty and beautiful things, but not being able to for whatever reason. Maybe if I write about wanting to write about it, that will help me move towards actually writing about it. So here goes…

I crave beauty. I need to be surrounded by beauty and beautiful things, so I make sure my environment always has artwork on display, plus I always have the means to create my own artwork as well. Beauty feeds my soul. I talk to God about it all the time. Everytime I see something beautiful in His creation I tell Him about it, and thank Him for it. God’s Word is beautiful, and I listen to it while I’m sleeping at night. In fact, it helps me fall asleep, because it fills me with peace.

Give unto the LORD the glory due unto His name; worship the LORD in the beauty of holiness. ~ Psalm 29:2, KJV.

But godliness actually is a source of great gain when accompanied by contentment [that contentment which comes from a sense of inner confidence based on the sufficiency of God]. ~ 1 Timothy 6:6, Amplified Bible.

Both those verses talk about some form of beauty. The first one, Psalm 29:2, talks about worshiping the Lord in the beauty of holiness. Who knew that holiness could be beautiful? But it can be, and it is, because God is beautiful, and He is holy.

The second one, 1 Timothy 6:6, is a little more obscure, but if you think about it I’m sure you’ll be able to see it. The confidence that comes from knowing God will always be there for you, always meeting your needs, always keeping His promises to you ~ that will bring a deep-seated peace and such great contentment, knowing you never have to worry about where your next meal is coming from again ~ that truly is a beautiful thing!

And then there’s Psalm 23. There’s probably no more beautiful description about the sufficiency of God than Psalm 23,

1The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. 3He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. 4Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. 5You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; my cup runs over. 6Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. ~ Psalm 23:1-6, NKJV.

It’s interesting that I’m focusing on Psalm 23 in this post, and in the one before this, because I’m going through some intense testing right now (so if you think of it, I would really appreciate your prayers), and it’s really comforting to know that I can trust God to have my back in the midst of this. I know it’s not God doing it, because of what it says in the Book of James,

Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am tempted by God”; for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone. ~ James 1:13, NKJV.

And I really like the way the Amplified Bible translates it,

Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God” [for temptation does not originate from God, but from our own flaws]; for God cannot be tempted by [what is] evil, and He Himself tempts no one. ~ James 1:13, Amplified Bible.

It’s encouraging to know that God won’t ever tempt me to do bad things. My father used to do that, and then he’d punish me when I did what he’d tempted me to do. It was all a great big trick with him, and I could never figure out what the rules were. But God doesn’t do that, and for that I’m eternally grateful!

Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. ~ James 5:16, NKJV.

Feb4

I’ve Got an Itch to Scratch

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Every once in a while I get the itch to write, and when I do I know I’d better scratch it, because if I don’t, I could be setting myself up for a rip-roaring case of writer’s block, and I really don’t want that. Thus the reason for this post.

My desire is always to represent Christ well in my day-to-day dealings ~ in the way I treat other people, in the way I interact online, and in the way I utilize the financial resources God has blessed me with. And it’s that last that gives me the biggest problem. I love giving to ministries that are doing God’s work, preaching the Gospel to unreached people-groups, and making sure that the Bible gets into the hands of every person who wants or needs one, regardless of what language they speak.

The problem I have is that when I donate to a ministry, almost immediately I start getting letters from other organizations and ministries that I’ve never given money to, who say they urgently need my money. Sometimes they go so far as to say on the outside of the envelope that children will die if I don’t send them my money. I don’t even know how they got my name and address, and I feel incredibly manipulated by their tactics. Sometimes they include money in the envelope (a nickel or a dime; one time it was a quarter), and many times they also insert sheet upon sheet of address labels, as if giving me a bunch of address labels will make me grateful enough to respond by sending them my money. One organization even sent a tee shirt. A tee shirt, for goodness’ sake!

NO! My giving must be motivated by the Holy Spirit and no one else, and certainly not by manipulation and strings attached to the requests of whatever organization. On the face of it, these organizations are probably worthy causes, but the way they go about their campaigns leaves a great deal to be desired, at least in my book. It may be that I’m the only one in all of Christendom who has a problem with this, and it may be that I’m ultra sensitive to the manipulation because of my background, but whatever the reason, it’s a real problem for me.

You must each decide in your heart how much to give. And don’t give reluctantly or in response to pressure. “For God loves a person who gives cheerfully.” ~ 2 Corinthians 9:7, NLT.

Every month I get all worried that I’ve blown it because I should have given to some organization that sent me a solicitation for money using one or more of the tactics mentioned above, plus I feel anxious that maybe I’m being a selfish jerk because I don’t want to give to some ministry who sent me a tee shirt or whatever.

As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, I love giving to God’s work in the world. I love being able to further the Name of Jesus, to help in preaching the Gospel of Christ, seeing people getting saved, and knowing that I had a part in making that happen. But I don’t love giving to organizations that manipulated me into sending them my money. That makes me feel resentful, and I can’t imagine God is pleased with that, either on the ministry’s end because of the tactics they used to convince me to donate to them, or on my end because I’m not giving with a joyful heart. Interestingly, the Greek word for “cheerful” is the same word from which we get the word “hilarious”. So you could interpret that to mean that God loves a hilarious giver. How cool is that! I like that! Therefore if I can’t give to a ministry hilariously, then I won’t give to them at all!

In the first place, I’m not writing this to please anyone except God, and He knows I’m not selfish. And as far as being afraid that I’ve blown it because I didn’t donate to whatever cause that arrives in my mailbox, as I was writing about it in the previous paragraph, I was reminded of that verse in First John,

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. ~ 1 John 4:18, NKJV.

I realized that what I was feeling was fear when I thought of trying to figure out what ministries to donate to, because I was afraid of displeasing God if I chose the wrong ones. Pleasing God has always been central to my life as a Christian. It guides my thoughts and actions. I write this blog because I want to please Him, and because He’s eminently worthy of being worshiped.

And then I realized that, paradoxically, as strange as it sounds, maybe I’m trying too hard to please God. It says in the Book of Hebrews,

But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. ~ Hebrews 11:6, NKJV.

I already have all the ingredients necessary for pleasing God! I believe He exists, and I diligently seek Him all the time, everyday. Hebrews 11:6 says that you must have faith if you want to please God. There was never a time in my life when I stopped believing in God’s existence. Many people who’ve endured what I’ve gone through decide at some point that God doesn’t exist ~ they become atheists. Their thinking is that if God were real, He would have done something to help them ~ He would have put a stop to the abuse ~ and since He didn’t, therefore He doesn’t exist.

I’m not sure why that never happened to me, but I’m extremely grateful that it didn’t. I never, ever want to lose my relationship with God! My faith is the most important part of my life, and I’d be utterly bereft without it.

So maybe I already have faith, and therefore I already am pleasing to God! Wow! That’s quite a revelation to me. What it means is that I can quit striving so hard and just rest in His love. I really like the sound of that.

15Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. 16And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him. ~ 1 John 4:15-16, NKJV.

It feels like that verse is describing me. Jesus Christ is definitely the Son of God as far as I’m concerned ~ the Bible says He is, and He called Himself the Son of God on a number of occasions, so that settles it for me.

30And truly Jesus did many other signs in the presence of His disciples, which are not written in this book; 31but these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that believing you may have life in His name. ~ John 20:30-31, NKJV.

69“Hereafter the Son of Man will sit on the right hand of the power of God.” 70Then they all said, “Are You then the Son of God?” So He said to them, “You rightly say that I am.” 71And they said, “What further testimony do we need? For we have heard it ourselves from His own mouth.” ~ Luke 22:69-71, NKJV.

My friend suggested that I change the way I think about the ministries I donate my money to. She suggested I ask God to show me a few specific organizations to give to, and pretty much ignore the ones that come in the mail beyond that, unless the Lord sends a bolt of lightning to strike the envelope for the specific ministry He wants me to contribute to. I already know the few specific ministries, because I’ve been giving to them for a while now, so I guess my problem is already solved. Plus, as I referenced above, God loves a cheerful giver, as it says in 2 Corinthians 9:7, and the word “cheerful” is the same word that we get the word “hilarious” from. I really like the idea of being able to give to God hilariously, with a joyful heart. That makes it sound fun.

Just following my friend’s suggestion has given me a great deal of peace. I no longer feel any anxiety about whether I’m doing it right, or whether I’m making God mad because I’m not giving to all the ministries that send me requests for money in my mail.

What a relief!! Thank you Jesus!!

Oct22

You Can’t Have One Without the Other

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My pastor, Pastor Jack Hibbs sends out a devotional every Monday. They’re always really good, so I generally share them on Facebook. Sometimes, however, they’re especially juicy, and last Monday’s was like that so I’ve decided to write about it here.

The gist of it was that you can’t have peace without holiness, but you also can’t have holiness without peace, because both of them come from God through Jesus Christ.

Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. ~ Hebrews 12:14, ESV.

Peace and holiness are two qualities about which the world knows very little, yet we are told to pursue them both. The dictionary definition of peace is, freedom from disturbance, and tranquility; mental calm and serenity; peace of mind; freedom from anxiety or distress.

Holiness, on the other hand, is the condition of being dedicated or consecrated to God or a religious purpose; set apart and devoted to the service of God. To be godly is to be devoutly religious, and godliness is part of being holy.

6Now godliness with contentment is great gain. 7For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. 8And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content. ~ 1 Timothy 6:6-8, NKJV.

I love these verses from 1 Timothy 6, and they make so much sense, because if you have a lot of things, you’ll be worried all the time about what’s happening with them, instead of thinking about your relationship with God. And if you’re worried about your things, you won’t have peace, and holiness will take a back seat to taking care of your stuff. Your time will be dedicated to figuring out what to do with your belongings instead of being amazed at the grandeur and majesty of God and His wonderful creation.

And lest you think that being holy and set apart to God sounds incredibly boring, I can tell you that it’s exactly the opposite. Since I made the decision to follow God wholeheartedly, I’ve never had so much FUN in all my life. I’m constantly seeing God around me without even looking for Him. He just shows up! I’m perpetually reminded of Him, because without even trying I see beauty everywhere I look.

I’m sure there’s more I could say about this, but it’s about three o’clock on Sunday morning, and I plan on going to church this morning, so I want to get this post published so I can go to bed and be able to get up later and stay awake during the church service.

I desire nothing more than to see the Lord, to see Jesus face to face. So I will seek peace and holiness above all else in every way I possibly can. I will pursue beauty, because I think God can be found there. The Bible says there is beauty to be found in holiness,

Give unto the LORD the glory due to His name; worship the LORD in the beauty of holiness. ~ Psalm 29:2, NKJV.

Dec20

The Saga of Charlotte is Finished, or, Hindsight is Always Better.

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I’m feeling sad because Charlotte is gone. Over the weekend I was able to send her back to Debbie, the woman from whom I adopted her. While it makes me very sad that I had to do it, I’m also glad because, hopefully, Debbie will be able to find a more suitable placement for her. I was not that situation, unfortunately, though I wish I could have been.

This whole situation with Charlotte has taught me a number of things. For one thing, I’ve learned that I need to be much more patient when I’m waiting for God to answer my prayers.

I had prayed for a new cat after Lily died, but sometime around June I started feeling desperate for the companionship that a cat has always provided for me. So I started looking online for a new cat, even though I sensed that I might be rushing things a bit. I prayed for God’s guidance as I always do, but I tried to ignore the guidance He was sending me, which was a hesitancy, and an intuition that I should wait.

And for the record, it’s always a bad idea to ignore that hesitancy and intuition that invariably is from the Holy Spirit, telling you to wait, as it was telling me.

But I didn’t want to wait. I was feeling a bit frantic and desperate, because I was missing someone to take care of, and pet, and cuddle, and talk to.

Yup. I talk to my cat. Every pet owner I know talks to their pets as if they were human and can respond in kind. When I’m leaving to go someplace I tell her how long I’ll be gone and that I love her, and sometimes I tell her where I’m going as well. It matters not that I don’t hear a response. What matters is that she hears me say it, whether she can understand it or not.

And even more, I was missing the comfort and peace that a purring cat has always provided me. There’s just something about a purring cat that makes me feel contented. It’s hard to feel upset when you’re sitting with a cat in your lap with its motor on, with it’s body vibrating from the purring, and the sound of the roaring in your ears. I have especially missed that aspect of having a cat.

So I pushed aside God’s leading. I told myself that maybe His leading was actually the devil trying to put doubt in my mind that I wasn’t really hearing from God. That happens to me all the time anyway, so I tried to fool myself that this was one of those times, but of course, it wasn’t.

The Bible says that God isn’t the author of confusion,

For God is not the author of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints. ~ 1 Corinthians 14:33, NKJV.

Certainly I was confused, but it was because I was creating my own confusion. It wasn’t because of anything God was doing.

So I started looking for a new cat.

And lo and behold, the devil found one for me! If you need patience, don’t pray for it. If you do, the devil will give you many opportunities to practice it. And that’s what happened here. I found a beautiful little three-month-old, part Siamese, blue-eyed kitten who was being fostered. They told me she was feral, but because she was being fostered, she had improved and her behavior was better than it had been at the beginning.

So I ignored the part about her being feral with bad behavior. I overlooked all the negative things that they were saying about her, and I only saw how pretty she was. I refused to look deeper to see the heart of darkness (the devil) that was motivating her.

In her defense, she came to me with a littermate, who I named Margaret, but about five days after they arrived, poor Margaret died, probably from an undiagnosed heart problem. And a good part of Charlotte’s problem may have been that she was lonely because she missed Margaret. She didn’t know me at all, and the one and only thing she was familiar with abandoned her soon after they arrived. I’ve wondered if somehow she blamed me for Margaret’s abandonment and death, because it happened at my house right after they got here.

Charlotte was a very smart cat. She figured out how to open doors using the doorknob, and she also figured out that she could use the bathtub as a litter box. At some point along the way, I started noticing that she was peeing in the bathtub (when she wasn’t peeing in my bed or on my cross stitch!), and pooping in the litter box.

She never took to me. She never adapted to living with me. I could never get her to come to me. She never would let me pet her, or even touch her at all. If I ever walked toward her ~ even if I was clear across the room or at the other end of my apartment ~ she would bolt away in terror, and race upstairs to my loft.

That was always incredibly frustrating to me, and it was hard not to take it personally. Rejection is still something I’m sensitive to, and even though Charlotte is a cat, I really had to work at convincing myself that it wasn’t about me, because her rejection was so consistent.

So now I’m back where I started, without a cat. Harrumph. And I’ve decided that I’m going to wait until it’s right this time. How will I know, you ask. I’ll know because I’ll have God’s peace, the peace that passes all understanding.

Have no anxiety about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will keep your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ~ Philippians 4:6-7, RSV.

I’ve experienced that peace when I was trying to make a decision before, and it’s pretty amazing. It calmed any confusion I was feeling previously., and I was able to go ahead with the decision I was trying to make, which was a major one, buying a car.

This is a pretty long post, and I hope everyone will forgive me for dragging it out as long as I have, but I really needed to say all this stuff.

Jul20

The Vagaries of Sleep ~ or Lack Thereof

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I do a lot of sleeping during the day, when I’m sitting on my couch, watching TV. I have the hardest time sleeping at night when you’re supposed to be sleeping. It’s very frustrating.

The word sleep occurs in Scripture 73 times in 65 verses, depending on the translation. (The above quoted numbers are for the New King James Version. In the King James it’s 82 times in 72 verses; in the New Living Translation it’s 63 times in 62 verses, and in the ESV it’s 61 times in 54 verses.)

I’m going to list some of my favorite verses on sleep…


I will lie down and sleep peacefully, for You, LORD, make me safe and secure. ~ Psalm 4:8, NET.

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip—He who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, He who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD watches over you—the LORD is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all harm—He will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore. ~ Psalm 121:1-8, NIV.

Even though verse 4 is where sleep is mentioned, I love the whole Psalm. It talks about God’s love and care for Israel, and all His children, both in this life and on into eternity, and it fills me with great comfort knowing how much God loves me.

In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat—for He grants sleep to those he loves. ~ Psalm 127:2, NIV.

In other words, don’t worry about where your next meal is coming from. God is your source; He will be faithful to supply your every need (see Philippians 4:19).

My son, do not let wisdom and understanding out of your sight, preserve sound judgment and discretion; they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck. Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble. When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet. ~ Proverbs 3:21-24, NIV.

I love those passages! They give me hope that I’ll be able to sleep well on a consistent basis once the issues that are keeping me awake are resolved.

And now to the aforementioned issues…

I have a terrible case of insomnia, and I’ve had it for many years. I also have sleep apnea, even though I don’t snore. I have to use a CPAP machine with a full face mask every night. Otherwise I spend the whole of the next day sleeping in front of my TV.

Even when I do use my CPAP machine I don’t usually sleep that well, because I sleep in fits and starts, usually about three hours at a time, and once I wake up I usually can’t go back to sleep. Sometimes I can, but once again I wake up after about three hours. Every once in awhile I can sleep longer, but that doesn’t happen very often.

I know I have PTSD, and I’m fairly certain that’s a big part of what’s keeping me awake. In addition, there’s something about trying to fall asleep in silence that’s frightening to me, so I play Christian music or Scripture (the audio Bible downloaded from the internet) at a low volume to deal with the fear. Doing that helps a lot. I also know that I almost never remember my dreams, and the ones I do remember are really weird, and are usually nightmares.

I’m hypervigilant about practically everything. I jump at loud noises, and I cringe at being touched unless I know the person. I’m also terrified of going to the doctor. Fortunately I have a wonderful doctor who understands my issues and doesn’t make me do anything that will trigger a panic attack.

I don’t trust men at all. For the most part, men are the enemy, and men with beards are especially dangerous; the bushier the beard, the more treacherous the guy. There are a few men I feel like I can trust, McT (my therapist) being one of them.

Those are the issues I’m aware of. It sounds like there are a lot of them, I know, but I’m not worried about that. I’m trusting that God will deal with all of them at some point so I can start getting the sweet and peaceful sleep He promises me in His Word.

In the meantime I’m doing my level best to maintain God’s peace in my heart…

You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in You, all whose thoughts are fixed on You! ~ Isaiah 26:3, NLT.

Sep21

At Least She’s Pooping!

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Sometimes a reality is so odious you’d rather it didn’t exist at all, but if you look at it from a different perspective, it turns into a silver lining.

Lily is my cat, and she’s twelve years old, plus I think she’s showing signs of aging. She throws up a lot, and she’s started pooping outside her litterbox, though fortunately, I’ve never stepped in it. Also, she meows a lot more, and more loudly, than she used to.

This is Lily. It’s an older photo, but it shows her blue eyes and her orange coloring. The vet says the black spots on her nose are called freckles. They’ve become much more pronounced since this picture was taken. She’s a flame-point Siamese. I think she’s beautiful!

Lily From the Side

I took her to the vet about a year ago to try and resolve the vomiting issue, and she said Lily had pancreatitis. So she changed her food, and said she might become constipated with the new food, and if she does I can use Miralax. The only problem with that is, she didn’t tell me how to use the Miralax, and I felt embarrassed at the idea that I’d have to ask her how to use it. Silly, I know, but that’s how I felt, because Lily has become constipated. I don’t know how badly, but she’s not pooping everyday. So I’ve started praying to God that He keeps her pooping.

Oh, the things we pray for! I think we must provide God with many occasions for amusement, though thankfully and mercifully, He’s answering my prayers, regardless of how ridiculous they seem to me. Plus just the fact that I’m praying means that I’m communicating with Him, which is always a good thing.

I know I should just break down and take her to the vet. If nothing else I got a notice in my email that she’s due for her vaccinations, so I could take her in to get the shots and while I’m there ask about the vomiting and the constipation, thus killing two birds with one stone. I’ve also thought of asking if she could be in the beginning stages of feline dementia. I didn’t know such a thing existed in cats until I started working on this post, but discovered, unhappily, that it does.

It’s taken me about three weeks to write this. First I couldn’t come up with a title, and then I had too many titles, so I couldn’t decide which one to use, and finally I landed on the one you see above.

The righteous cares about his animal’s health, but even the merciful acts of the wicked are cruel. ~ Proverbs 12:10, CSB.

Keeping a grateful mindset ~ an attitude of gratitude, if you will ~ sort of requires that I look for silver linings when I’m in difficult situations, and it’s become more and more natural for me to think along these lines as God heals me from my past. So rather than bemoan the fact that Lily keeps pooping outside her litterbox, I’ve started reminding myself that at least she’s pooping, which means she’s not constipated, at least not completely anyway.

And if I get upset enough to have a panic attack, I remember that at least I’m not hitting myself, and I’m very grateful for that.

Those are just two examples, and there are others I could list, but these are the only ones I can think of at the moment. I’ll probably come up with more after I’ve published this.

Isn’t that always the way? Oh well. If that happens I’ll have more fodder to write more posts!

I love being a blogger!

So that’s where things are at, and I think I’ve finally reached a stopping point. Thank you, Jesus! I’ve been wondering how I was going to end this. Silly me, but I couldn’t figure it out. But now I have, thankfully. That’s been part of the reason it’s taken me such a long time to write this. I couldn’t figure out how to end it, so I’d write some, and then put it away for a while. Then I’d come back to it and write some more, and yada yada yada…

But now I’m done. Oh, thank you, Jesus. I feel like it’s ending a little weirdly, but at least it’s ending.

I just realized that’s another silver lining!

How cool is that?

Mar27

Enforced Hermit-hood Makes Me Feel Rebellious ~ Sort of

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As much as I like being alone, I’ve found that it’s a different feeling when you choose to be alone, as opposed to when you’re forced to be alone because of a government-enforced quarantine.

Hermit-hood is a lot harder to maintain when someone else is forcing you to do it. It doesn’t make me want to run out and stage a wild party or anything like that, but I’m finding myself entertaining some unfamiliar feelings. Things like, I don’t WANNA stay inside! Or, WHY do I have to stay inside?! I wanna go out and PLAY!!

Then I did my daily Bible reading from Philippians 3 and 4,

I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through [Christ] who gives me strength. ~ Philippians 4:10-13, NIV.

I’ve read this passage of Scripture many times, but this time God helped me to put a different slant on it simply by reading verse 13 in context with the rest of the passage. I don’t think I’d ever done that before ~ and what a difference it made! Philippians 4:13 says,

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. ~ Philippians 4:13, NKJV.

I say this verse to myself all the time, for instance, when I’m climbing the stairs from my garage to my apartment with a load of groceries. As I’m huffing and puffing up the stairs, trying not to drop the bags of food, I mutter under my breath,

I can do all things through Christ who is my strength (Philippians 4:13, my paraphrase), huff, next step, shift the bags from hand to hand…

I am strong in the Lord and in the power of His might (Ephesians 6:10, my paraphrase), puff, next step, shift the bags again…

God is my strength and power, and He makes my way perfect (2 Samuel 22:33), huff, next step, again, shift the bags from hand to hand…

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength (Philippians 4:13, NLT.), puff, shift the bags yet again…

Repeat until I’ve made it all the way up the stairs and reached my front door, thank God!

If all that sounds a bit arduous, that’s because it is. I usually have four or five bags of groceries, but I hate, and I do mean HATE, making more than one trip getting them up to my apartment. It just feels wasteful, and ridiculous as it sounds, I feel lazy doing it that way. So regardless of what I have to do, I manage to haul ALL my bags up at the same time. It may take longer because I have to do it one step at a time, but I get it done, Scripture verses and all.

My point in relating that long tale is that I meditate on Philippians 4:13 all the time without really being aware of it, as I’m sure many Christians do, at least partly because I talk to myself (the only time it’s bad if you talk to yourself is if you have to ask yourself what you just said ~ hehehe!). But how many of us have ever looked at that verse in context with the rest of the passage? In context puts a completely different slant on it. It doesn’t change the meaning of it at all, but it takes on a whole new and deeper significance when you look at it in context.

Let me explain.

Taken alone, it’s true that we can depend on Christ to strengthen us so we can accomplish whatever tasks we need to get done. He is completely trustworthy and will always keep His promise to fulfill His Word,

“The rain and snow come down from the heavens and stay on the ground to water the earth. They cause the grain to grow, producing seed for the farmer and bread for the hungry. It is the same with My word. I send it out, and it always produces fruit. It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it. ~ Isaiah 55:10-11, NLT.

And,

God is not a man, so he does not lie. He is not human, so he does not change his mind. Has he ever spoken and failed to act? Has he ever promised and not carried it through? ~ Numbers 23:19, NLT.

So Philippians 4:13 could be taken as a standalone verse.

But you can’t ever take any one verse by itself without considering that verse in context with the verses around it (which I suppose I just did with the verse above. Hmm…). So regardless of the circumstances I’ve learned to be content ~ whether I’m hungry or well fed, in need or well supplied. And I’ve learned the art of contentment because I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

God is amazing!

How cool is that!!

Oct6

Not So Bad After All

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Well, here I am again, writing about everything and nothing at the same time ~ but at least I’m writing. It’s early on a Sunday morning, and I wonder if I’m trying to waste time so I won’t be able to make it to church. God forgive me, I don’t know why I’m doing it, but I’m not sleepy so I haven’t gone to bed yet, and it’s 7 a.m.

I don’t want to go to bed after the sun comes up!

I wish I could break out of this frustrating place! I’m stuck, and I don’t know why I’m stuck, or what I’m stuck on. I just know that I’m stuck. I can’t seem to be consistent or disciplined with anything. Or maybe I’m disciplined at not being disciplined, to wit, I’m being consistently inconsistent.

I seem to be really good at sabotaging myself, and not much more at the moment, though at least I’m writing about it, which is new and different. I never used to do that. I used to just sit and stew about it ~ or hit myself ~ if I was stuck, so I suppose this is an improvement, albeit a small one. Though maybe it’s not so small, because I’m not only writing about it, but I’m also not hitting myself, and that right there ~ not hitting myself ~ is a huge accomplishment.

So, while there are some negatives, there are also some positives. But as I was sitting here earlier in the evening, goofing around, I had the feeling that I should just be patient with myself, and cut myself some slack.

Even though it feels like I’m not making any progress at all, that’s simply not true. Even though it feels like I’m just sitting around all the time being incredibly lazy, that also is not true, though I can’t see how. And even though I’m not doing any regular Bible reading, it’s okay. And the reason it’s okay is because it’s all temporary.

Each of these “Even though…” problems I just listed is temporary, and God wants me to stop worrying about them. In other words, I’m doing better than I think I am.

I’ve always been my own worst critic.

I can sort of see why the one about Bible reading might be okay, because even if I’m not actually sitting down and reading a chapter everyday, I’m interacting with Scripture on a regular basis in one form or another.

So, God, please help me to show myself the same kind of grace that you’ve given me! Help me to not be so hard on myself! And thank you for setting me free from self-abuse! I praise you that I’m no longer hitting myself!

I love You and I praise You!!