I Am That Wretched Man (or Woman).

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O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? ~ Romans 7:24, NKJV.

Paul was writing this about himself, but in reality it could be said about anyone who is willing to admit that they are sinful and desperately in need of God’s saving grace. I am one of those wretched people, which is why this post is entitled as it is. I am the wretched person spoken of in Romans 7:24, as is every human being, whether they’re willing to admit it or not.

Thankfully, however, Paul didn’t stop at verse 24. Verse 25 follows immediately thereafter,

Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin. ~ Romans 7:24-25, NLT.

This tells me a couple of things. Most obviously, it reminds me that I am a sinner, and then it emphasizes to me just how much I need Jesus and His saving grace. I thank God for His grace! I’d be dead without it! One of those nine suicide attempts would have succeeded had it not been for God’s efforts on my behalf.

7 But I must not be too proud of the wonderful things that were shown to me. So a painful problem was given to me—an angel from Satan, sent to make me suffer, so that I would not think that I am better than anyone else. 8 I begged the Lord three times to take this problem away from me. 9 But the Lord said, “My grace is all you need. Only when you are weak can everything be done completely by my power.” So I will gladly boast about my weaknesses. Then Christ’s power can stay in me. ~ 2 Corinthians 12:7-9, ERV (Easy-to-Read Version).

I like this translation best because it emphasizes the fact that God’s power works best when man’s weakness is fully acknowledged. And something that God showed me is that I don’t have to have a physical infirmity like Paul’s thorn in order for this to be true for me. All that’s needed is for me to recognize my total dependency on Him. I don’t find that hard to do, because I’m confronted many times everyday with how much I need Him.

As I stated above, I wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for His working in my life from the beginning on. Either one of my mother’s attempts to kill me would have succeeded, or one of my own suicide attempts would have. And I like knowing that I need God that much. God has never failed me. He’s always kept His promises to me, He’s never lied to me, and He’s never betrayed me, unlike the humans in my life. God is completely dependable. He always has been, and He always will be.

There’s never been anyone like God in my life. Everyone I’ve ever known has betrayed me and let me down to one degree or another. So when I discovered that God was with me from the beginning of my life, protecting me from the worst of the abuse (the worst meaning Harry would kill me, which he threatened to do any number of times, or my mother would kill me, or the cult would), and keeping me alive until I could grow up and make my own decision to serve Him or not.

Of course I chose to serve Him after all He’s done for me!

So I may be that wretched woman, but I don’t mind, because Jesus is redeeming me every second of everyday. And God’s Word is true for me all the time, and is the foundation of my life.

I LOVE knowing that!! I LOVE being able to believe that and stand on it!!

4 responses »

  1. Sarah,
    I have been thinking about you a lot and for some reason this post has lead me to this thought. Its kind of weird how my brain puts these things together, but bear with me please and maybe it will make sense.
    Your early life was just a horror and your earthly father was just evil, nothing else to say about him, as you say that is what he choose, evil.
    But you didn’t, you choose light and life.
    1 Corinthians 13:4, the love is patient verse. You know when people change that verse to – God is patient………Kind of a cool thought process, as it gives us a look into who God meant for a father to be. But can we go a little further- who is God the Father to us? Jesus sacrifice gave us the right to call God ‘Abba’.
    I really love the word Abba, its so young and descriptive. By this new covenant we call God Abba
    or :Daddy.
    So can we now replace God is patient…. With: Daddy is patient……. ect. Isnt that dynamic tear worthy?
    Because in your life to God is/was
    Daddy help me, Daddy why? Daddy please love me.
    That cry wasn’t just brain words, it was heart words,
    Now that same Spirit, the adoptive Spirit, causes you to write and give in a new family likeness, because Abba/Daddy heard your pleas, and Jesus won the right for you to be the blessed daughter He will never cast away.
    So I guess I am saying that I am not sure wretched woman is how I see you, but rather Blessed woman.
    Just some thoughts

    Liked by 1 person

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