A Mystery Wrapped In a Conundrum Enclosed In an Enigma


I used to have Multiple Personality Disorder, aka Dissociative Identity Disorder. I was integrated in March of 2003, around my birthday. Talk about a birthday present!

The reason I mention this is because a few days ago, I got a receipt in my email for $9.99 for one month of an Apple Music Subscription, and it’s supposed to renew on April 3rd, and every month thereafter. The problem is, I didn’t order an Apple Music Subscription, even though it was done on March 2nd from my computer using my credit card. I have no memory of doing it whatever. And apparently, there was a two month free trial period for the previous two months, because I was able to check the purchase history. Once again, however, I have no memory of doing any of this.

It’s kind of spooky-scary! I don’t like thinking there could be someone inside besides me after all these years of being integrated. It leaves me feeling terribly NOT in control, and my wallet being controlled by someone else, which is a very uncomfortable feeling.

I want to call Apple’s customer service phone number, AppleCare, but if I do, what do I tell them?

“Someone purchased a monthly Apple Music Subscription for $9.99 from my computer, using my credit card, and without my permission. No, I don’t know their name, and my computer never left my sight, nor did it leave my house.”

That makes no sense and is almost completely illogical. And I don’t think I can tell them I’m multiple. I’m fairly certain they wouldn’t understand that, or they’d think I was wacko in the most pejorative way. But I don’t want the music subscription. $9.99 every month is way too much money, and I won’t use it enough to warrant spending that much each month.

Aside from the practical aspects of this, why did it happen in the first place? If I created a new alter after being integrated for eighteen years why would I have done it? What perceived need could this new alter be meeting? And who is the new alter?

So it appears I have a mystery wrapped in a conundrum enclosed in an enigma, and it’s all contained within my mind. I know God knows the answer. He knows what’s going on, and why I did it. I just have to ask Him.

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. ~ James 1:5, NKJV.

To be sure I’ll also be talking to McT about this during my appointment tomorrow, if for no other reason because I need help figuring out how to cancel the subscription without completely embarrassing myself, and without having to lie. But aside from that I also need to understand why it happened so it doesn’t happen again.

I thank You for Your goodness and love, my Father, and I ask for Your help in figuring out this problem. I need Your wisdom and understanding, and I ask for Your mercy and grace, and Your forgiveness if I’ve sinned in any part of this. I want You to be glorified in every aspect of my life, and that includes every aspect of my healing. So I thank you for showing me the whys and wherefores of this situation, and for helping me to keep You first in all things. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.

About sarahjesusnlily

My name is Sarah Abigail Kuriakos. I come from a background of extreme child abuse, and it almost destroyed my life. My mother tried to kill me while I was an infant, my father threatened to kill me if I told anyone what he was doing to me, and I tried suicide nine times as an adult. Fortunately, God had other plans, and none of the attempts on my life succeeded. The purpose of this blog is to chronicle the progress I'm making as God heals me from my childhood, while making sure that God is glorified in the process. I'm a voracious reader, and I enjoy crocheting, doing counted cross stitch, and creating art. I also enjoy playing with my cat Lily, listening to Christian music, and watching movies. My favorite books are, first and foremost, The Holy Bible, then Jane Eyre, David Copperfield, The Count of Monte Cristo, and To Kill a Mockingbird. I also love Christian apologetics. The most important thing in my life is knowing and serving Jesus Christ, and telling people about His great love for them. People need to know that God loves them!

3 responses »

  1. Sarah just a quick note, this kind of stuff happens all the time it’s not necessarily you doing something you don’t remember. It could even have come from an accidental click on an ad in a game. We have all done that!

    The best thing to do is focus on cancelling it

    Try these steps

    Go to music.apple.com
    Login with your Apple ID (This is what you use when you download stuff from the app store)
    Choose settings
    Scroll through to subscriptions
    Choose to manage, then click cancel subscription.

    This may not be exact depending on what OS you are using, but it will help you get through it. Currently all the computer stuff requires you to have a CC on file, so they already have it. You would not have had to get out a CC and typed it in Apple music for this to happen

    Let me know what happens


    From: God’s Not Through With Me Yet
    Reply-To: God’s Not Through With Me Yet
    Date: Monday, March 8, 2021 at 11:49 AM
    To: Kim Anunson
    Subject: [New post] A Mystery Wrapped In a Conundrum Enclosed In an Enigma

    sarahjesusnlily posted: ” I used to have Multiple Personality Disorder, aka Dissociative Identity Disorder. I was integrated in March of 2003, around my birthday. Talk about a birthday present! The reason I mention this is because a few days ago, I got a receipt in my email fo”


  2. Thank you, Kim! Your instructions were spot-on! I was able to cancel the subscription easily. Now I just have to figure out if it’s as you say where the subscription was an accident, or if I really did create a new alter ~ opposite ends of a spectrum, so to speak. I’ll be talking with McT concerning that aspect of it.

    Thank you for being a blessing to me!! I love you!!


  3. I have two friends who, like you, suffered greatly as children and subsequently split into many personalities. Over the last ten years both have found healing. One is totally integrated. The other told me that the last of his personalities “got saved”. For me, I was not abused. I did not “split”, but I do have recesses in my personality that still needs conversion. God bless you, walk with you and give you trustworthy friends.

    Liked by 1 person

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