Category Archives: God’s Faithfulness

Jan28

The Us of Millions Becomes the Me of One, Thank God!

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The Us of Millions Becomes the Me of One, Thank God!

January 28, 2025, 2:15 p.m.
I’ve decided I’m going to try and write everyday, as much as possible. The question, and the problem, is, what do I write about? I’ve never been very good at extemporaneous spontaneity. My mind doesn’t work that fast. I watch TV shows like Who’s Line Is It Anyway? and, in between laughing helplessly at the goofy stuff they do, I wonder how they can come up with all that hilarity so quickly, without thinking about it ahead of time. They manage to pull it off seemingly without rehearsals or any kind of preplanning at all. I don’t know if that’s what actually happens, but that’s certainly the way it looks.

I’m going to include another one of my poems, called The Us of Millions. I wrote it in March of 1990, 13 years before I was integrated in March of 2003. When I wrote this poem, I didn’t think wholeness was possible. Thank God, I was wrong!

My life is composed of blanks and holes,
each one a fragment from a shattered whole.

Each thought a shard,
each event a splinter of death,
camouflaged ground-brown
with the mud of denial.

My life it was,
the priceless vase that contained my soul,
that was my Self,
smashed by maddened tyranny
while yet under potter’s hands.

I purge away the mud
with tears of remembering,
only to find that what was can no longer be,
my baby Self shattered
into splintered confusion.

There is no glue that piece to piece can bring
to peace,
and the I that was Me is forever
the Us of Millions.

S.A. Kuriakos & Elliot
©March 6, 1990

Well, that was fun! I’m learning all kinds of new things in the process of writing blog posts. I decided to include the above poem, and I figured out how to do it using this thing called a Verse Block in WordPress, but I couldn’t figure out how to get out of the Verse Block and back into the regular Paragraph Block. It turns out it’s as simple as clicking on a different button, and I was making a much bigger deal out of it than I needed to. Way cool! Blogging is getting simpler and easier all the time!

Yippee!!

It’s now 6:03 on the 28th, and I’ve managed to accomplish a great deal with God’s help in a little under four hours.

I’m very grateful and glad to know that what I thought was hopeless back when I wrote that poem, wasn’t hopeless at all, but only appeared to be impossible to fix. I forgot that with God ALL things are possible,

But Jesus looked at them and said, “With men it is impossible, but not with God; for with God all things are possible.” ~ Mark 10:27, NKJV.

1Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: 2by whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that  tribulation worketh patience; 4and patience, experience; and experience, hope: 5and hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us. ~ Romans 5:1-5, KJV.

I love this passage from the Book of Romans, because it sort of tells the story of my life in a nutshell, and I’m so grateful to God for all the marvelous work He’s done in me to bring me as far as He has. I give Him all the glory, because I certainly couldn’t have done any of it myself, and if He’s brought me this far, I know He’ll take me the rest of the way until my healing is complete,

And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. Philippians 1:6, NLT.

And with that I think I’m done with today’s writing!

Thank you Jesus!!

Nov20

Draped In Cats

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Draped In Cats

It looks like this is going to be one of those rambling posts where I talk about whatever pops into my head, mostly because I can’t think of anything to write about. Some people would call that writer’s block. I prefer to call it… I don’t know what I would call it, but I don’t want to call it that. So I’ll just write about anything at all, and pray that God shows me what He wants me to say at some point, hopefully sooner rather than later. I don’t want to say nothing at all. If I’m to be a writer, then I should write.

It kind of feels like I’m babbling at the moment, but I’m trusting that God will lead my meanderings so that I’ll actually end up talking about something specific rather than nothing at all. And then I’m reminded of Psalm 45,

My heart is overflowing with a good theme; I recite my composition concerning the King; My tongue is the pen of a ready writer. ~ Psalm 45:1, NKJV.

I love that verse from Psalm 45! I love thinking that God is guiding my writing so that my words are like the “pen of a ready writer,” so that even my most paltry and trivial scribbles might be used to glorify God.

And I finally figured out what this post is supposed to be about, so I can stop meandering.

As I was laying in bed this morning, I noticed that Solomon and Gracie were draped all over me, as they often are when I awaken, and I decided to take a picture of them. And, to my surprise, it actually turned out well. I’ve tried taking photos of them festooned on me after I wake up, and the pics haven’t turned out, but this one did, and I’m very pleased. They generally arrange themselves on me after I go to sleep, and when I wake up the next morning I find myself bedecked with cats, and I just love it when that happens.

There’s something very comforting about having a cat sleeping on you, especially if it’s purring, and I’m blessed to have not one, but two cats doing it. God has favored me greatly!

When I was a child I had a cat named Dennis the Menace. He was an orange tabby cat with blue eyes, and he was wonderful. He definitely lived up to his name, but he was my friend. I think he was sent to me by God, because I didn’t have any friends back then. I was unaware that God was watching over me and protecting me from Harry, but Dennis was always right there beside me, and I could tell him anything.

He also had a nickname. Everywhere he went, his tail stuck straight up in the air, so we always called him Sail-tail. Even if we couldn’t see him, we could tell he was in the room, because we could see his tail floating around.

Regrettably, I never took a picture of him when we had him, because I didn’t have access to a camera, but the above photograph gives you a pretty good idea of what he looked like. He was beautiful, and most of all, he was my friend. I think he was an angel in disguise.

Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. ~ Hebrews 13:2, ESV.

Dennis added a small amount of peace to my otherwise chaotic life. He provided a bit of respite when I felt desperate, and I don’t know if I could have survived without him. He was yet another thing for which I am immeasurably grateful to God, for without him I might not be here to tell my story.

And I’m so glad I survived so I can tell my story, because it’s God’s story more than it is mine. He gets all the glory, and that’s the way I want it to be.

Praise the LORD! Oh give thanks to the LORD, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever! ~ Psalm 106: 1, ESV.

Nov7

The Biggest Question

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The Biggest Question

What should I write about? This is the kind of question a writer might ask if they’re suffering from writer’s block. I don’t think I’m having that problem here, because it’s only been a few days since I published my last post, but thus far anyway, I’m drawing a blank. I’m seeking God’s wisdom on what to write about, as I always do, but as it stands now, I’ve got nothing. I don’t expect it to remain that way, and it is 4 a.m. so I’m probably just tired, but I think I need to put my brain in before I can come up with a topic.

So maybe I should go to bed.

I will both lie down in peace, and sleep; for You alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety. ~ Psalm 4:8, NKJV.

3He will not allow your foot to be moved; He who keeps you will not slumber. 4Behold, He who keeps Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep. ~ Psalm 121:3-4, NKJV.

I find Psalm 121 to be very comforting. It tells me that I can sleep well because God isn’t sleeping at all. He’s protecting me instead.

It is a waste of time to get up early and stay up late, trying to make a living. The Lord provides for those he loves, even while they are sleeping. ~ Psalm 127:2, Easy-to-Read Version.

And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. ~ Philippians 4:19, NKJV.

Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. ~ Philippians 4:11, NLT.

I’m preaching to myself with all these Scripture verses, and it’s now about 5:30 the next afternoon. Trump won the election, so I’m feeling like maybe there’s hope for my beloved country (I started writing this about 4 a.m. on November 6, 2024).

And for anyone who might disagree with me on this, I didn’t vote for Trump the person. I voted for platforms and policies. I voted for the people who will kill the fewest number of preborn babies. I voted for the people who will most support and protect the nation of Israel.

I voted for the people who will most support and protect traditional marriage (i.e. between a man and a woman). I voted for the people who will most support and protect the traditional family. I voted for the people who will most support and protect our children from LGBTQ+, and transgender ideologies, and who will most support and protect the original intent of Title IX.

I voted for the people who will most protect and defend our borders from illegal aliens, and who will most support and protect the Constitution and Bill of Rights of this nation as they were originally drafted by our Founding Fathers.

I don’t have a problem with welcoming immigrants to come here, as long as they do it legally, and as long as they aren’t coming here with the intention of committing crimes against American citizens. If you want to commit crimes while you’re here, then don’t come. Go someplace else to do your dirty work. That might not sound very Christian of me, but God expects us to obey the laws of the land, and if you don’t do that, then you can expect to pay the consequences, no matter where you’re from. If you end up in prison, I might come and visit you so I can tell you about how much Jesus loves you, and died to save you from your sins.

1Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God. 2So anyone who rebels against authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and they will be punished. ~ Romans 13:1-2, NLT.

This post kind of ended up going in a different direction than I had intended, but I’ve always used this blog for my own personal issues concerning my healing. And now that I’m doing so much better, I’m kind of sensing that the Lord wants me to use it to speak up for righteousness as well. It will take some courage on my part, because I’ve never been one to make waves. I’ve always preferred to be a little mouse in the corner because it was safer. When I was a kid, I couldn’t speak up, because if I did, Harry would get me in some pretty terrible ways. It just wasn’t safe when he was around. I had to protect myself in order to stay alive, and even though I didn’t know it at the time, God was protecting me too, something for which I will always be grateful.

But, thank God, Harry is dead, as I wrote about back on January 17, 2020, so while I’m sad that he’s gone (because that means there’s no hope now for him to get saved), I no longer have to be afraid. I’m safe now. I can speak up without fear of what man will do to me.

So from now on, from time to time, I may write about things that aren’t related to me and my healing specifically, but that are meaningful to me in other ways ~ ways that are about promoting righteousness, and promoting a biblical worldview. I do have opinions about things in our culture, but I’ve never expressed them before, because I was always afraid of what other people might think of me. I’m no longer afraid, however. I no longer care what anyone thinks of me except my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. He’s the only One whose opinion matters to me, because He’s the only One Who can get me into Heaven where He is. And I want to be where He is! I want to see His lovely face! I want to look Him in the eyes, and tell Him how much I love Him, and how grateful I am for everything He’s done for me!

I want to end with a quote from a poem by 19th century missionary, Charles Thomas Studd:

“Only one life, ’twill soon be past,
Only what’s done for Christ will last.”
~ Charles Thomas Studd

That’s what’s important to me now. It’s always been important to me, but more and more, I’m realizing just how important and necessary it is to make sure that whatever I do is done for the glory of God.

Nov4

Diarrhea and My Always Faithful God

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After eight long months, the diarrhea is gone. Thank God, He healed me. I haven’t had any episodes in about a month. Nothing significant happened, like no one laid hands on me or anything. I prayed and asked God to heal me, as I had been doing all along, and He answered. The diarrhea just stopped. I can eat normal foods now, and I am so grateful!

THANK GOD!! HALLELUJAH!!

God gets all the glory for this, that’s for sure. Jesus is my Healer and no one else!

I first began to get an inkling that maybe I was healed when I was able to eat an In-N-Out cheeseburger with no ill effects. I wasn’t totally sure at first, but I’ve been eating them every other week now for over a month with no diarrhea, or anything bad at all, and next time I’m going to try a version of Animal Fries along with my cheeseburger.

It’s such a joy to be able to eat whatever I want, and I’ll never again complain about my food, because I had to go without for so long. Now I eat every bite with gratitude, and I relish the flavor. I hope I never forget! The only silver lining is that I lost about twenty-four pounds, and hopefully I haven’t gained any of it back now that I can eat again.

I think I’ve learned to rely more strongly and closely on God through all of this, and I had to trust that He was still there and listening even though it didn’t seem like He was answering my prayers. I’ve come to realize that I have to keep on praying and not give up, like the Parable of the Persistent Widow in Luke 18:1-8.

Sometimes I felt like God was tormenting me because I kept on having episode after episode of diarrhea, and there were days that felt like I was in the diarrhea day from Hell, it was so bad. But I just had to keep on praying and believing that God was still with me, and He was still answering my prayers, because the Bible says that He will never leave me nor forsake me.

6“Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of [these nations]; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you. … 8And the LORD, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.” ~ Deuteronomy 31:6, 8, NKJV.

No one will be able to stand against you as long as you live. For I will be with you as I was with Moses. I will not fail you or abandon you. ~ Joshua 1:5, NLT.

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. ~ Isaiah 41:10, NKJV.

1But now, thus says the LORD, who created you, O Jacob, and He who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine. 2When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you. ~ Isaiah 43:1-2, NKJV.

Plus, compared to what Jesus went through on the Cross, my problems are nothing. I’ve come to the conclusion that God is much more interested in our character development than He is in our happiness. Happiness is temporary, but the joy produced by developing the character of Christ is deep-seated and permanent, and something I greatly desire.

17For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, 18as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. ~ 2 Corinthians 4:17-18, ESV.

I think that’s about it. I’ve said about all I have to say, though I want to end with a Scripture verse, not my own words. Scripture is much more powerful than my words ever thought of being.

21This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. 22Through the LORD’s mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. 23They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. ~ Lamentations 3:21-23, NKJV.